Mom and more...

What comes around...

2007-09-25T14:54:00.000-05:00

I was the first one in my family to start having babies and my kids have been showered with wonderful gifts from the time they were born. Well... mostly wonderful gifts. The not-so-wonderful ones come with batteries, make a lot of noise and play the same tune, ring or jingle over and over until you want to rip the damn toy out of the kids hand and toss (no chuck) it out the window. My sisters were the ones who usually purchased these and it's payback time.

It started innocently (ahem) enough with Tickle Me Elmo. It was cute and it was my niece's birthday which just happens to be right before Hanukkah and Christmas. Luckily for me, I found Chicken Dance Elmo and Going to the Potty Elmo the same year. She is now five and I have run out of Elmo's... plus my sister called me over the summer and asked if it was "OK with me" to sell the Elmo collection at her garage sale.... UMMM NO! Instead she did this... (not sure what Dora is doing in there, but whatever).

Anyway, it is niece #2's second birthday and I have been racking my brain to figure out what I can get her. Can you guess? Yep, TMX Elmo! Elmo upgraded... Elmo louder, more annoying, bigger and better than before.

Gotta love being an Auntie!

Measuring Up

2007-09-24T12:49:00.000-05:00

I have attended over 50 births in the past 8 years. All different. Each and every one has a uniqueness to it that makes it remarkeable. It makes going to "work" an unknown. I never know when it will happen, what will happen or the outcome. If I only had a magic ball.

One of the commonalities of birth is that most woman will, at some point, think they can't continue. Whether medicated, unmedicated... supported by many or alone... they will say "I can't". Fear, pain, hormones and frustration will overcome. Part of my role is to encourage, to support and help push through that moment in time woman are unsure that they CAN, they WILL and they are ABLE. Many women feel as though they are not measuring up... they aren't doing it well enough, fast enough, that they aren't strong enough... that because Best Friend Susie did it this way and Aunt Grace did it this way or Mom's birth went this way, mine should go that way too. Or because I believe in this or she believes in that... So wrong. And, to me, so sad. I wish I could erase the would have, could have, should have's. EYE ON THE PRIZE ladies. You don't walk away with a metal of honor or a better baby if you birth a certain way. No way is right or wrong and no woman should feel "less than" if they choose to birth a certain way. Be informed. Make informed decisions. Healthy mom... healthly baby. Thats the prize.

What you may find under a teenage boys bed

2007-08-15T10:09:00.001-05:00

43 Waterbottles, 11 Jewel Fruit Snack boxes (all empty of course) plus a full garbage bag filled with freeze pop wrappers (about 50), assorted candy wrappers, gum wrappers and much much more!

The summertime rap

2007-07-21T20:12:00.001-05:00

Mom... mom... mooooommmmmmm, I'm bored, I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, Get me, Take me, Buy me, Got a couple bucks, There's nothing to eat, Who can I call, Nobody's home, Do I hafta, I'm going out, What are we doing today, Are we doing anything tomorrow, Is dad home yet, When's dad coming home, Can I have, I need, I want, I'm tired, Mom... mom... moooommmmmmmm.

Put it to your own music... in my head it sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Summer reads

2007-07-11T18:22:00.000-05:00

Finished:
Dancing Naked at the Edge of Dawn - the others in the "series" were better
Shopoholic & Baby - this woman in the story frustrates me to no end, but the books are easy reads and pretty funny
Family Tree - great story about a white couple who has a dark skinned baby and the search for where the gene came from.

Now reading:
Dream When You're Feeing Blue - Not usually my kind of story, but I am a huge Elizabeth Berg fan... we shall see

Tried to read:
Middlesex - I have had this book on my shelf for a long time and after Oprah picked it I started reading. Couldn't get through the first 50 pages.
The Girls - I love this stuff on TV but was bored to pieces when trying to read it.

Not sure who any of these belong to

2007-06-10T11:41:00.001-05:00

Not sure who any of these belong to
Originally uploaded by LonnaS

Day one... 10:30AM

2007-05-30T11:07:00.001-05:00

Day one... 10:30AM
Originally uploaded by LonnaS

Summer break has started for high school. Anyone got extra food stamps?

2007-05-15T18:09:00.000-05:00

Since Toni linked to me I thought I should post an update.... I know I will have hundreds of hits since she is so damn popular!

Thirteen things even though it is not Thursday:

- It is now friggin hot... I do not like the heat and humidity. Today is supposed to cool off and I am very happy.

- The cicadas are coming... just what I need is more noise in my head!

- Fun Fair is over... one more year and I am out of this school. Hopefully next year I will get some help and things won't get so overwhelming for me.

- I am still getting used to my new laptop. A warning for those of you thinking of getting Windows Vista... DON'T DO IT. I have had to upgrade, find patches or replace most of my programs. It sucks.

- I have had no clients this year. I took some time off because I had too many things going on and now I am a bit too comfortable not being on call. I did have an interview with a couple last week, but they hired someone else. Really fine... but I need to get my butt back in gear.

- The news had really bothered me lately... too much about Paris, Brittany, Lindsay. Who cares... throw them all in a cell with nothing and teach them all a lesson at once.

- TV... sick of House (they are always wrong 3 times before they cure someone), love Boston Legal (when the dwarf shows up it cracks me up), not sure about Grey's spin-off (if it aint' broke, why mess with it)

- New BonJovi coming soon... if you haven't heard the new song go here. Love it!

- Since my kids don't let me take their pictures anymore I am getting my kicks on my neices.. Aren't they cute?!? I can't remember when the last time my kids sharred anything.

- Valerie Bertinelli is back... I loved her. One Day at a Time was one of my favorite shows. I have looked for re-runs with no luck. Maybe I should have not admitted to that. Now all I need is Kristy McNichol and I am all set.

- Next year I will have 2 kids in high school. How did that happen?

-I am back on track with exercising. I run/walk 10 miles per week and lift once a week. YEA!

-Starbucks has a new drink... they were handing out samples today. Orange Creme Frap... it tastes like a baby aspirin. Very yummy!

That's all folks... until next time!

April showers

2007-04-11T07:33:00.000-05:00

Let's get this our of the way so the weather can be nice next week for our school's Fun Fair.... everyone pray please!

Sanjaya'd

2007-04-05T19:56:00.001-05:00

Sanjaya'd
Originally uploaded by LonnaS.

Ahhhhhh...

2007-03-28T20:47:00.000-05:00

Just got back from a Girls Weekend Away... no kids, no husbands, no time schedules, no errands, no responsibilities, no driving to and from, no worries. Just good friends, laughter, music, conversation, food and drinks! Everyone need that once in a while.

Delayed Satisfaction

2007-03-15T10:06:00.000-05:00

I got my new laptop the other day and I am not enjoying it yet. I know once I get the kinks worked out I will love it, but here are some of my frustrations:
- Why can't you take a computer out of the box, turn it on, press a button that says "find my shit" and start working?
- I wanted a numeric keyboard built in because I do a lot of work with numbers, but getting used to the layout is hard. The enter key on the right is smaller so I keep pressing the number 4 by accident.
- I TRIED so hard not to load AOL. Couldn't do it. I am standing up and saying "I am an AOL addict". I have heard from so many people that it puts all sorts of files and crap on your computer... but I am so used to it and it is very user friendly. Plus you can IM, switch between screen names, see my buddy list... whatever. I tried the Google desktop for about 6 hours and got frustrated.
- This laptop has a fingerprint reader which I thought was going to be cool. Doesn't work with AOL. Yea, I know.
- VISTA... not sold yet. I have to upgrade a few programs or download patches which is prolonging the satisfaction of getting something new.
- I am out of loads on my MS Office so I had to buy a new program. There is more money I wasn't planning on spending.
- The wireless network is working but I am afraid to take the laptop out of my office for fear I will take it to my room and never have a reason to come out.
- I haven't paid my credit card bill yet.
It'll be all good.

Signs of Spring

2007-03-10T15:04:00.000-06:00

Basketball games, puddles from melting snow, the sound of kids playing, drivers with the windows open, hints of muddy grass, dirty boys smell, runners, mom's walking with strollers, sunshine, cars parked on the street, garage doors open, hockey nets...

What do you see outside?

Everyone is talking about it...

2007-03-08T15:15:00.000-06:00

Give it a try!

Thursday Thirteen

2007-03-08T12:43:00.000-06:00

Thirteen things I have found, lost or are searching for:

1. I have found my blog. I will try not to misplace it again as I have been yelled at by one of my three loyal readers. You know who you are... Hi!
2. Look Ma, New Hands by Bath & Body Works is the best hand lotion. It is one of their True Blue Spa products which also has a great foot cream.
3. I have lost a part of my car bumper... well, maybe not lost but rather it got taken away. Someone backed into me in a parking lot last night. Totally not my fault because I was not moving at the time... although the other driver did not think it was her fault either. A hint, when you have just backed into someone DO NOT tell the cop, especially in front of the driver you hit, that the other dent in your car is because you backed into a garbage can. Seems to me you need some lessons in backing up. Or one of those beepers that tell you when you are getting close to something.
4. I have lost my sex drive. My husband hopes I find it soon. TMI?
5. I have been on the hunt for a new laptop. I would like one with a numeric keypad built in and do not like the HP one because the screen is very shinny. Any ideas?
6. Something hopefully my son has found: a job! He is going to pick up an application today and talk to the woman who is hiring. My neighbor recommended him... keep your fingers crossed!
7. I have re-found my workout clothes. I set a goal to run/walk 10 miles a week on the treadmill and have kept it up for 2 months. I now have to step it up a bit by running a little more... I am up to about half.
8. Due to #7, I have found Move Free.
9. I am looking for(ward) to the new BonJovi album. Can you tell I am running out of things to write.
10. I have found this author. So far I have read Annie Freeman's Fabulous Traveling Funeral, currently reading The Elegant Gathering of White Snows and our book club just picked The Sunday List of Dreams. I am really not a big reader but when I find an author I like, I get them all. My last binge was on Elizabeth Berg.
11. Someone told me about this blog which I am now hooked on. Hearing the perspective of an OB is fascinating to me. I love birth stories but they are usually written by the mom who usually does not remember 1/2 of what went on... which is not necessarily a bad thing.
12. OH OH... I can't believe I almost forgot about these! A friend and I were at lunch and a kid walked in with these shoes that made a squeak with each step. Being it was not my kid I thought they were the cutest thing. I asked her where she got them and she said to search online for "squeaky shoes". When I found them, I immediately ordered them for my niece. She was not walking yet and I, being the good aunt, thought they would help encourage her. OK, I wanted to get my sister back for all the paint, play-dough and noise makers she has gotten for my kids. My niece is now walking... thanks to the shoes, of course! She grew out of them so I ordered another pair in a bigger size! Hee hee. Who could resist...
13. Has anyone had the Green Bean Fries at TGI Fridays... yummmy!
13 and 1/2. I just clicked the spell checker... the new Blogger is pretty cool! Yes, it's been that long!

Life is a cup of coffee

2007-01-05T14:51:00.000-06:00

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got
Together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon
Turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and
Returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -
Porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some
Expensive, and some exquisite - telling them to help themselves
To the coffee.

After all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor
Said, "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were
Taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal
For you to want only the best for yourselves, THAT is the source of your problems and stress."
"Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee.
In most cases, it's just more expensive and in some cases even hides
What we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup,
But you consciously went for the best cups and then began eyeing each
other's cups."

"Now consider this: Life is the coffee. . .and the jobs,
Houses, cars, things, money and position in society are the cups. They
Are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have
Does not define nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by
Concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has
Provided us. God brews the coffee, not the cups.

"Enjoy your coffee."
"Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect; It means
You've decided to see beyond the imperfections."
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the
Rest to God.

The Name Game

2006-12-08T07:45:00.000-06:00

1. My first name: Lonna
2. Were you named after anyone? My mothers Aunt Lena
3. When did you last cry? Yesterday watching Intervention. The guy was hooked on crack and his kids were begging him to go to treatment.
4. Do you like your handwriting? Sometimes... depends on what pen I am using
5. What is your favorite lunch meat? Salami
6. Do you have any children? Too many sometimes
7. If you were someone else would you like you? Yep
8. Do you keep a journal? Sometimes
9. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Never
10. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes
11. Would you bungee jump? No way... open spaces creep me out
12. What is your favorite cereal? Don't really like cereal
13. Do you untie your shoes before taking them off? No14. Do you think you are a strong person? On the outside
15. What is your favorite ice cream? Vanilla with Heath Bar
16. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their teeth
17. Red or pink? red
18. The least thing I like about me? I can't say NO
19. Who or what do you miss the most? My grandmother
20. Do you want everyone to send this back to you? Sure
21. What are you wearing now? A sweater (not a sweatshirt... surprising, huh?) and jeans
22. What color shirt? Pink
23. What are you listening to right now? My kids crabbing
24. If you were a crayon what color? Purple
25. Favorite smell? Vanilla
26. The last thing you ate? Garibaldi's Sub... yummy!
27. Last person you talked to on the phone? Someone calling with a fundraising question
28. Do you like the person that sent this to you? No (I am never sarcastic) Of course I do
29. Favorite drink? Water
30. Favorite sport to watch? Basketball... if I have to pick
31. Hair color? Natural... I have no idea
32. Eye color? Hazel... is that really a color?
33. Do you wear contacts? Nope
34. Favorite food? Whoppers
35. Scary movie or happy ending? Happy Ending
36. Last movie you watched? Coal Miner's Daughter... It was on TV
37. Summer or winter? Spring
38. Hugs or kisses? Hugs39. Favorite dessert? Hot cookie w/ vanilla ice cream
40. Person most likely to respond to this? Laura and Kristine (I am so impressed) already did it
41. Least likely to respond? Kay
42. What book are you reading? The Other Boleyn Girl... and I am going to finish it if it takes me a year cause I want a prize (Julie).
43. What is on your mouse pad? No mouse pad
44. What did you watch on TV last night? Will and Grace
45. Favorite sounds? Silence
46. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Rolling Stones... as long as I don't have to look at them
47. The furthest you've ever been away from home? Hawaii... on our honeymoon48. Do you have a special talent? I can crack my toe... it goes back and forth
49. When were you born? 10/21/67
50. What City and State were you born? Chicago, IL
51. How many pairs of jeans do you own? Tons... but only 3 fit
52. Funniest thing your mom or dad has ever said? No idea... my dad says funny things all the time.

Behind the scene...

2006-11-28T12:08:00.000-06:00

Taking a holiday picture of my kids is near impossible. One is smiling, one is not... one has his eyes closed, one won't sit within 10 feet of his brother. I have long given up the "everyone dress the same, comb your hair" shot. I am just happy if there are no bugars hanging from their noses.
This was the first shot...

Then one of them let out the loudest FART (Nick) and I got this shot...
it was all downhill from there.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

2006-11-19T20:04:00.000-06:00

I took this at the funeral for a friend's father who served in the Marines. (She asked me to take some photos) It was very touching that he was given the respect he deserved. I can't share others because there was family in the shots but, as weird as it sounds, they turned out awesome.

2006-11-16T10:14:00.000-06:00

Thirteen sayings I find very amusing:

Back to your bridge you evil troll! You have no powers here.
Don't make me go Psycho-Bitch on your annoying ass
I'm sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
Amazingly enough, I don't give a shit
A few clowns short of a circus now aren't we?
Whoop-dee fucking-do!
Not the brightest crayon in the box now aren't we?
Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine
Admitting you're an asshole is the first step
You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing
A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth
Aren't we just a lettle freak of nature?
Easy there Mr. Testosterone, you can be replaced by a zucchini

2006-11-13T13:27:00.000-06:00

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Inland North You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."
The Midland
The Northeast
Philadelphia
The South
The West
Boston
North Central
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

sixteen

2006-11-07T08:46:00.000-06:00

I remember sitting in HighSchool English and the teacher had us write out a time line of ages that were important to us and why. Things like at thirteen you were a "teen", at twelve you could get into PG rated movies... everyone had different numbers on their paper except the number sixteen. Maybe because it was the closest to us that most of us were looking forward to. But it was the only common number among all the kids. Sixteen - you get your drivers license.
I remember going to the DMV with my dad. I remember standing in line. I remember that my dad was very upset with me because I had just been caught sleeping over at Jerry's house when he thought I was at Vivian's. I remember thanking the lord that he let me get my license anyway. I remember getting my picture taken. I remember liking that I got to put 118 as my weight when it was really 120. (neither of which I will ever see again) I remember driving home feeling more mature, more responsible, more independent.
Today, at 11:30, I am taking my son to get his license. I am terrified. I am not sure what my parents felt on my special day (I should ask), but I can feel my hairs turning gray, my stomach is in knots and my eye is twitching. The thought of him asking for the car (MY CAR) to go grab a bite, or go to the movies, or go on a date... I am getting hives just thinking about it.
I am sure this will pass... it will be fine. Then in two years I will go through it all over again... and three years after that... and three years after that.

**UPDATED**
I picked him up for school only to drive to the DMV and see a sign on the door saying "Closed for Election Day". He is bummed and I feel bad (only a little) that he will have to wait until tomorrow.

I was right... thank you very much!

2006-09-02T11:13:00.000-05:00

I promise this will be the last post about my sleep issues... I went to see my GP yesterday after being on the phone with 2 different people who had 2 different suggestions about what road to take. One (the nurse at my dr. office) said everything was "normal" but the study showed a lot of leg movement which may be RLS and the doctor may want to treat that to see if it helps with my sleep. I do not have this, I know and clearly as I knew I did not have apnea. The lady from the sleep clinic recommended I go to a sleep specialist, gave me his number and said he could help. To cut this short... I called and made an appointment with my own doctor and sat with her to decipher all the mumbo jumbo on the report.
She said I did not have apnea, I do not fall asleep well (even with taking the Ambien), I do not get into a deep sleep and I do not stay asleep. I have a Sleep Disorder... I am not mental (she actually used that word)... It is in my make-up just like people with a chronic condition... I have done everything I could do as far as conditioning my body to sleep... and the Ambien is OK as long as it is not affecting me during the day... and if it stops working we will try something else. Whew! There was more, but that is the short version.
How do you spell relief? A.M.B.I.E.N

2006-08-31T16:00:00.000-05:00

Thirteen random things:

1. "Findings on this polysomnography may not fully explain the patient's subjective complaints of fatigue and unrefreshing sleep." Duh.

2. We ordered carpet for the basement... anyone with ideas for fundraising cause the money tree I tried to plant in the backyard isn't growing.

3. School started. Yippeeeeeeeee!!!

4. The smile on his face is thanks enough! (And calling me a kick-ass Doula)

5. I am now hooked on Celebrity Duets. The guys from Queer Eye and Queer As Folk can sing!

6. Is it wrong that I watched Celebrity Fit Club, Oprah (about a 400 lb woman) and Discovery Health (about a 625 lb woman) then went out for a cheeseburger?

7. Did I mention school started?

8. I have got to get back to the healthclub. I feel like a big blob of jello... I know the cheeseburger did not help.

9. Have you heard about Smencils? They are apparently the new thing to have. We just ordered a case for our school store.

10. The schools discourage kids from using MySpace and I just got a flyer home from one of my sons high school teachers and he has a MySpace site listed. He does say clearly that if you link yours (the kids) to his or comment with your site link that he is obligated to report any bad behavior.

11. I have made dinner three times this week. Believe me... that is a miracle.

12. Speaking of miracle of miracles... my 4yr old niece's (is that correct english) favorite movie is Fiddler on the Roof. She walks around the house with a blanket over her head singing "Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match... he's tall and wide from side to side" You have to know the song to find that funny.

13. What ever happened to Getupgrrl? Anyone know? Just wondering.

Nighty Night... Sleep Tight

2006-08-18T14:52:00.000-05:00

My doctor has been "recommending" to me for a long time that I do a sleep study. Yesterday I decided to call for some information because I am due for a refill on my Ambien and I always panic that she is going to say no. The lady that answered was very nice and explained to me a bit about the study and said they happened to have a cancellation for tonight if I wanted to get it done with. I was a bit anxious, but she said it really is no big deal and it may be good to get it done instead of thinking about it. I agreed and went to the hospital sleep center at 8:30pm.

A bit of background... I have had sleeping problems since I can remember. When in my parents house I used to yell downstairs if I heard the TV from the living room. I left a hotel room with my dad and sister when I was 17 and got my own room because my sister was snoring. My husband and I have been married for 16 years and have not consistently slept in the same bed. Birds chirping, ceiling fan spinning, the DVR and other people breathing drive me insane. I usually wear earplugs. Oddly, having the TV on to something that I have seen before (or any Will & Grace episode) helps me relax because I concentrate on that. Having 4 kids, a husband and a cat... in addition to all the to-do lists in my head make it impossible for me to turn my brain off. I take Ambien... I have for about 4 years. It is prescribed, I am not buying it off the internet or stealing it from others and I take it as prescribed.... I do not take it when my husband is out of town or when I am on call because it puts me to sleep and I may need to wake up. But I take it almost every night... because it works.

I do not snore regularly or gasp for breath. I do not have high blood pressure, am not more than 30 lbs overweight and I do not twitch or kick at night. (All signs of Apnea or Restless Leg syndrome) I have Insomnia... plain and simple. I also do not drink coffee, tea or pop.

Back to last night.... I get to the hospital and a man comes down to get me and another man who was also doing a sleep study. A large, black man who states he will be the one "observing" me during the night. What happened to the nice nurse on the phone? We walk to the sleep center hallway and no one else is there... OK, I am in a far off hallway, alone with a large man watching me while I am sleeping and another man in the next room. I am a little taken back. The words, "the call is coming from inside the house" kept popping into my head. I go to my room and start filling out the paperwork. The man in the next room turns on the TV in his room and I can hear every word as if the TV was in my room. Go back to above when I said that I yell downstairs to have the TV turned down. OK, now I am in a room with a large man watching me sleep and can hear the TV from the next room. (I won't make this like the 12 days of Christmas song... but feel free to keep adding these scenarios together) I turn my TV on to the same station so it does not drive me insane and he is watching Dateline about JonBenet. Not exactly Will & Grace.
Then I get hooked up. I wish I would have thought to take a picture with my camera phone, but at this point I was half laughing and half crying. In my head cursing my doctor for putting me through this and on the other hand glad that I will be able to prove my point and not have to worry about this again. There were wires coming off my face, behind my ears, attached to my scalp, on my legs. Two straps across my chest and this unbelievably uncomfortable piece of plastic under my nose. I am thinking, "you have got to be kidding me". This picture is not me... I was definitely not smiling. It took about 30 minutes for all these wires and straps and tape and goop to be put on and then another 30 minutes to try to lay down without a wire or strap to be pinching or pulling somewhere. I was allowed to take my Ambien for the night and drifted off about 30 minutes after all that.
I woke up to the man talking to someone in the hallway and to the beep of a machine. Thinking I had made it until morning. Right. I looked at my phone (no clocks) and the time was 2:30am. I laid there quietly for about 15 minutes and the man came in to see if I needed anything (because he was watching me and knew I was not sleeping). I got unplugged and went to the bathroom and then asked how long I needed to be monitored because I did not think I was going to be able to fall back asleep. He said to give him another 45 minutes "for insurance purposes" and if I was not back to sleep he could unhook me. I left at 3:30am and went home.

Results take about a week and IF I have Apnea, I will eat my words. But right now I am thinking that was a complete waste of time and money and just give me my little pills and leave me to my drug induced sleep. Ahhhhh Ambien.

2006-08-10T13:54:00.000-05:00

Header from Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen shows I have to re-program to record a Season Pass on my DVR because Comcast Equipment stinks.

1. Will & Grace

2. Grey's Anatomy

3. Nip/Tuck

4. So You Think You Can Dance - Go TRAVIS!

5. Celebrity Fit Club

6. The View

7. ER

8. CSI

9. Ellen Degeneres

10. Boston Legal

11. House

12. Without a Trace

13. Kathy Griffin

Waiting for Megan Mullally's new show and The Greg Behrendt Show... and the new American Idol and Amazing Race seasons to be announced.

What do you watch?

To schedule or not

2006-08-07T09:24:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking lately that this blog is pretty boring. I am not very open about my life and it has definitely come across here. I decided to start talking about other stuff I would like to share opinions on... to gather thoughts... to rant... to discuss. Hopefully, my 2 readers will be OK with that :-)

My sister had her second baby 10 months ago... an adorable little girl, who has an auntie that loves her. Her 4 year old sister, who is also very much loved by her auntie, was born via c-section because she would not descend. I was there, as a sister/doula. There was no getting that baby down. Pushing, position changes... she wouldn't budge. And her heartbeat went down every time indicating that the cord was being compresses. The doctor was wonderful... he even gave it one more shot in the operating room before the c-section. He also let me stay, which gives him a permanent place in my heart. Anyway, my sister chose to have a repeat c-section for her second. I did not agree with her choice, but respected her decision and let it go. Plus the result was this... two little girls who has an auntie that loves them. The shirts say so.
My current client is going through a similar situation. One difference... I am hired, not related. Another is that she wants a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). She wants it bad. I was not there for her first so I can only go by what she tells me. Basically, her cervix did not open past 6cm and after of hours of labor, a c-section was performed. She said she was confined to bed (problem 1) and not given options of changing positions (problem 2). Anyway... she now wants to discuss VBAC with her doctors and they pretty much shoot her down. They want her to schedule a Section and do it now (she is only 27 weeks) because of the holiday schedule (her due date is Nov 6, unless Election Day is a holiday, I am not sure what they are talking about). Again, I am supportive because this is not my situation, not my birth and not my life. BUT, she hired me as a professional and is asking my opinion. I explained to her that unless there is a medical reason to write in red "C-Section" all over your chart, you may want to get a second opinion. Bluntly, switch doctors. Because if the doctor does not agree, especially this early on... it most likely won't happen. I am not sure what she will decide.
Another situation... I emailed my cousin yesterday to say Happy Birthday. She is due Sept 11th and told me they have an induction date scheduled for Sept 5th. She lives in Arizona, so I am not going to be there as a relative or doula. I keep quiet. Let me just add that the reason she WANTS to be induced is so she can come back to Illinois for her 20th High School Reunion.
There are reasons for everything... people make choices for different reasons. Many factors go into making choices. I respect the fact that someone may make a decision that I wouldn't make. That does not mean I don't get frustrated and concerned. Does any of this frustrate and concern you?

2006-07-31T13:27:00.000-05:00

My kids went to Wyoming and all I got was a few cool photos

I am not sure if my dad is enjoying the view or taking a piss

Conversation with myself

2006-07-28T20:08:00.000-05:00

Ben: "mom, who are you talking to?"

Me: "myself... because I am the only one who listens to me"

Ben: "what?"

exactly.

Matchmaker

2006-07-17T19:01:00.000-05:00

It finally happened. You will all be amazed. Really... I can't believe it.

I did the laundry today (as I do everyday) and... drum roll... the socks all matched up! There was not one left over... not one with a hole leaving another without a match. I did not have to throw one in the pile of unmatched socks to be later matched. They all matched.

Miracle of miracles.

Yea for me. Nay for me.

2006-07-14T20:13:00.000-05:00

My nether regions are better... I think the bleeding has finally ceased. Yea for me.
Next week my youngest starts camp... from 9 - 3 everyday. Yea for me.
My parents are taking the two oldest to Wyoming for a week. Yea for me.

Drivers Ed has ended... now "practice, practice, practice". Nay for me.
My youngest asked to wear boxers. No more cute undies with superheroes. Nay for me.

More yea's than nay's... good week!

Caution....

2006-06-29T17:00:00.000-05:00

...this post contains information about my innerds. Reading further may result in you knowing a bit too much about me. Continue at your own comfort level.

On Tuesday I got cleaned out. As my friend put it, I got a Uterine Dermabrasion. I was sedated (the best 1 1/2 hour nap I have had in a long time), dilated, had polyps removed, my IUD was taken out and I had a procedure done called Endometrial Ablation. My periods have been lasting for up to 2 weeks and I had enough. Clean me... scrape me... laser me... flush me... whatever. As long as my uterus was left in my body, I was up for whatever may work.
So far, so good. Very little cramping... did not even need a Motrin. The bleeding is annoying- it's lighter than after a baby, but steady. And no tampons. I haven't used pads since my last birth (8 years ago) so it is uncomfortable.
If this works, my periods will be light. No more two weekers, no more 3+ boxes of tampons, no more "sorry honey, I am still bleeding". If it works.
Told you... more information than you needed to know!

2006-06-22T17:28:00.000-05:00

13 Things that suck about having a child with a drivers permit:

1. "Can I drive?"
2. There is a log you have to fill out... how come I get homework?
3. My right foot keeps searching for the brake pedal that is not there.
4. All of a sudden he is picking out cars. Hello... get a job.
5. The first thing he does is change the radio. Ok, he does this even when he is not driving, but it bugs me.
6. When I get in MY car, I have to adjust the seat and mirrors.
7. And change the radio.
8. I think I have worn out the grip on the door because I am holding on for dear life.
9. The thought of him driving when the whole family is in the car terrifies me.
10. Everyone that does not have a teen driver says, "Practice makes perfect" Bite me.
11. My parents let him drive. Oy Vey.
12. Turns are like getting on a rollercoaster. I do not like rollercoasters.
13. I have 3 more to go.

Header from Thursday Thirteen.

My kid the rock star

2006-06-19T17:04:00.000-05:00

DSCN4572
Originally uploaded by LonnaS.

2006-06-14T09:29:00.000-05:00

Thirteen Things that have happened since the last time I posted... a long, long time ago.

1. Schools out for summer. Only 73 more days until they go back. Yes, I am counting!

2. My son got his drivers permit. To drive a car. My car. On the streets. Let me tell you... it is one of the scarriest things I have ever done- getting into the car with someone, let alone a teenage boy, who has never (to my knowledge) gotten behind the wheel of a car. I am adding "Drivers Ed Instructor" to my list of jobs I will NEVER, EVER do. Others include: Bus Driver and Lunchroom supervisor.

3. For the third year, our school participated in Relay For Life. For the third year, we got rained on. Just once I would like to make it through the night... or at least until midnight. Our group did raise over $5000, which is the highest yet. There are some pictures on Flickr... click the link on my sidebar.

4. Blog news... I am sure you have heard. Cecily had a beautiful baby girl. Welcome to the world, Tori! It still amazes me that so many people can love and support someone they have never met. I am so happy for them. Wishes do come true!

5. More blog wonders of wonders... Jen has opened up her comments. I have said before that I think she is an extremely talented writer and photographer and I am glad I can tell her more often. She is going through some tough times and I think she needs a little lovin'.

6. Since I have so much free time now that school is out... HA! I am trying something new. I have become a BzzAgent. Basically, you get to try stuff for free and then give them feedback. You get points... and I am ALL ABOUT POINTS... and redeem them for prizes and gift certs. Right now, they are sending me Take 5 candy bars and coupons for Budweiser Select. Candy and beer... can you beat that? If anyone is interested, email me and I will send you an email ... cause I get more points that way :-)

7. Speaking of free stuff. I write to companies all the time to get samples for my clients... I tell them that I support women in labor and educate them about childbirth - yadda yadda. Occasionally a company comes through and sends me something. Sometimes it is 2, sometimes 200. This past week has been incredible. My office is packed with boxes of great products for me to give out... OK and use for myself. I can't tell you exactly what they are because then people email the companies and make stuff up to get freebies... but a huge THANK YOU goes out to all those who support the little guy!

8. I got a purple stripe put in my hair... underneath, where you can only see it if it is up. Just because. I felt like it.

9. It seems season finales were all about shootings this year... ER, Grey's Anatomy, House. I miss my shows. Summer TV is just not the same.

10. Anyone see the chick on So You Think You Can Dance with the sweat stains on her pits, boobs and crotch? How embarrassing. This is what TV has sunk to.

11. My new show.... Nip/Tuck. How embarrassing, I know.

12. One got his braces off, one will get them off this summer... I am thinking "YEA, a break!" Nope... one gets them next week. At least my payments will be cut in half... until the next one!

13. Summer fun brings more laundry. I think I have done 10 loads of towels in the past week. No matter how many times I tell them to leave the towels out to dry and re-use them, I wind up with wet ones on my laundry room floor. Or worse, in with their dirty laundry... oh that smell!

14. I know, only 13... and I know, Thursday. But I am posting this on Wednesday and this is no. 14. I am such a rebel! Yea, right.

Laundry Observations

2006-05-02T09:02:00.000-05:00

One kid had one leg inside out on every pair of pants in the laundry. One has both. One has neither. One (and hubby) has both inside out with socks still attached.

One kid takes off his socks and they are thrown in the laundry inside out. Two are regular. One (and hubby) takes socks off and they wind up in a ball forcing me to un-ball them before I toss them in the wash. All kids have at least one pair of socks with big holes in them each time I do their laundry.

I often wonder why I even fold the laundry because the kids (and hubby) throw it into drawers or on shelves. Nothing really stays folded. I have tried not to fold, but I just can't not fold it.

Do you clean the lint trap after each load? Just wondering...

Randomness

2006-04-28T17:02:00.000-05:00

- I have been a bad blogger... shame on me. For the whole two people who are regular readers, I am very sorry. I have over volunteered my time, over committed myself and said "yes" way too much lately. Of course, my hubby would disagree with that last statement. A-hem.

- Anyone else get upset when you think you look good and someone comes up to you and says, "you look tired, are you OK?"

- Just wondering... Grape Crush or Orange Crush? I have no idea where that came from.

- Today is a free garbage day in our town. Almost anything and as much as you want goes to the curb. There are piles and piles of crap at the driveways. People are driving around looking for treasures... junk collectors, scrappers... never heard so many trucks up and down my street. Kindof eerie. I was thinking about going for a run/walk this morning, but I'll wait until tomorrow... my excuse for the day.

At Passover...

2006-04-18T08:07:00.000-05:00

we remember the slaves in Egypt and the hardships they had. We celebrate Moses delivering the Jews to freedom. We decorate the table with only the best china...

Things I've been reminded

2006-03-27T08:06:00.000-06:00

I have my 6 month old niece for four days. I have forgotten that baby drool is cute. I have also forgotten that at you can't tell a baby to go fix their breakfast and you'll be right there. (Then go back to sleep). And that it takes forever to pack up and leave the house if you even want to go through the trouble to leave. I have been reminded that when you are dead tired and in a crap mood, a giggle from a baby makes it all better... and that peek-a-boo always gets that giggle. I forgot that when a baby farts and burps it is funny... when my 7 year old does it, it is not so funny.
I also forgot how limber babies are... and that every adult male that sees a baby like that says, "Just like her mother".
I also remembered how feeding a 6 month old is like feeding someone watching a tennis match. Head turns one way... then the other. You get it. I remember now that everything has to be thought out... taking a shower, going to the bathroom, brushing your teeth... oh my. I now remember how much babies need naps and when you hear silence instead of resting yourself, you feel the need to get things done.

I have learned that I am done having babies. That all this had it's time and place for me and now I enjoy my freedom. That all the new challenges with my kids will not blend with starting over. I have learned that it is nice to re-visit this time, remember it and then let it go. It is a bit sad because truthfully, I like this better than having teenagers. But I realize that this cute little face will be a teenager way too soon and then I will be reminded what that was like.

In my office there is a picture with these words:
"Babies are such a nice way to start people"

If I could have a few wishes

2006-03-26T09:02:00.000-06:00

I would like...for 48 hours
- no coughing, burping, farting, sniffling or sneezing
- one TV on at a time... and it being the one I am watching
- no yelling, bickering or fighting
- no guitar blasting, music blaring or gameboys beeping
- to go to sleep in peace and wake up on my own
- no one yelling "Shut Up"
- no whining, crying... no "i'm bored" and "There's nothing to eat"

Bon Jovi fan

2006-03-24T15:12:00.000-06:00

Escape

2006-03-15T07:28:00.000-06:00

As you can tell by the photos, I was in Michigan this past weekend. Six of us women, friends, neighbors went for a get-a-way. It was a very YaYa Sisterhood, testosterone free party filled with discussions, drinking, crying and laughing so hard underwear had to be changed. I can't tell you the details because "What happens in Michigan, stays in Michigan" and I wouldn't want to be the one to break the pact... cause I am going back! I highly recommend every woman grab a few friends together and go. somewhere. anywhere.

Sitting by the dock of the bay

2006-03-13T14:28:00.001-06:00

Sitting by the dock of the bay
Originally uploaded by LonnaS.

Lake Michigan

2006-03-13T14:28:00.000-06:00

Lake Michigan
Originally uploaded by LonnaS.

The water usually comes up to where the beach line is... Right now it is muck. We tried to walk across it to get closer to the glaciers, but two steps in "K"'s shoe was covered.

Tulips

2006-03-13T14:27:00.000-06:00

tulips
Originally uploaded by LonnaS.

These were in a flower shop... I can't wait to see them popping up from the ground.

Anyone....

2006-03-01T08:07:00.000-06:00

How do you upload videos to your blog? Like this... Rosie. Do they have to be saved in a certain format or size?

------------------------

Also, anyone speak Cat? She has been whining or talking or something a lot lately. She is fed, watered and litter box is clean. She is also fat, lazy and over-grooms herself leaving big chunks of cat hair all over my house. The vet says she may be stressed and we may consider giving her meds. Give me a break. To get a pill down her throat would give her (and me) even more stress. Any ideas? Here is a photo, just in case you are a pet phychic and need to see her:

Justify with me

2006-02-28T13:22:00.000-06:00

Whenever I indulge in a Starbucks Caramel Frap (light... with the whip and caramel), I pee a lot. I also belch. So I am thinking that having one actually flushes me out and removes some of the air in my belly. That could only be a good thing, right?!?

Another Meme

2006-02-17T11:09:00.000-06:00

Found this at Spilled Milk... there may be a little game of "tag" at the end.

1) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
Most childbirth education programs have the following three elements in common: (1) information about the process and procedures related to birth, (2) coping skills for comfort related to pain, and (3) emphasis on support from the labor partner, family and instructor, as well as development of the support system.
Exciting huh?

2) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can and see what you touch.
If it were about 2 inches longer, I would touch my printer.

3) What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Oprah... the Debt Diet. Made me feel pretty good about my financial situation.

4) Without looking, guess what time it is.
11:15am

5) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
11:23am

6) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Ben playing some game on the other computer... lots of "pings" "pongs" "doinks". And Ben saying "gotcha" "hi-ya" "one more" "yaaaa". Oh, and all the voices in my head.

7) When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Last night going to Ben's child-led conference. He was very excited to let us see all his work and show his classroom.

8) Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
I was checking in on Elle's son at True Blue 4ever. He is doing better and will hopefully be home soon.

9) What are you wearing?
Slacks, a fitted button down shirt and pumps. NOT. I have on my usual... jeans, big t-shirt with big sweatshirt over and white socks. I think my bra and underwear match today!

10) Did you dream last night?
I'm sure I did, but right now I can't remember. I woke up to my husband coughing (GO BACK TO THE DOCTOR) and that is all I recall.

11) When did you last laugh?
At the conference last night, Ben was showing us some of the pictures he colored. There was one of turtles and it looked like they were jumping out of the water. Jerry asked Ben if turtles can fly and he said, "Noooo" with a "duh" sound to it. I think you had to be there.

12) What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Shelves with books about childbirth, Anne Geddes, photography... one with Jerry's books, mostly fishing stuff. More shelves with pictures and nic nacs. Cabinets filled with lots of crap.

13) Seen anything weird lately?
I got my Kohl's bill yesterday and it had a credit of 31.00 as the balance. That is very weird.

14) What do you think of this quiz?
It is kindof long when you are actually doing it.

15) What is the last film you saw?
I can't remember the last movie I saw in a theatre. People crunch their popcorn really loud and it bothers me.

16) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A chef.

17) Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I hate going to the movies because people crunch their popcorn really loud and it bothers me.

18) If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I would banish smoking... and gum

19) Do you like to dance?
Ummmm, no

20) George Bush
That's not a question.

21) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Not my husbands. I thing he only shoots boy bullets.

22) Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Right now I call him, "how the hell did that happen so fast"... "hellie" for short

23) Would you ever consider living abroad? Abroad from what?
Can I go by myself?

24) What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Your grandparents are waiting to see you.

No game of tag... just say "Hey"

When it's time to change...

2006-02-16T14:28:00.000-06:00

My 13 yr old is starting to sound like Bobby Brady in the episode when his voice changes. Good thing we are not a family singing group!

--------------------

I was very proud of my 15 year old this morning. We went to the ortho and someone said, "How are you?" He responded, "Good, and yourself?" Now unless you have a teenager, you may not understand the joy of them:
1. actually responding to someone
2. responding with a word rather than a grunt, moan or the word "k"
3. responding and then asking the person how they are
The joy of that did not last long due to the phone call I received this afternoon from his Science teacher. He apparently was disrupting the class and was sent out 2 days in a row.
Oh well... enjoy it while you can!

Random-ness

2006-02-13T08:05:00.000-06:00

- I am still dealing with this birth last week. I am sitting down with the teenage moms group leader tomorrow to fill her in. As soon as that is over, I can post about it. Please understand I am not grouping all teen moms into this "babies having babies who will have babies" frustration. This was a situation with A LOT of twists and turns... I say that because I think I offended someone.

- Please send positive thoughts to Elle at True Blue 4ever... her son is sick again and she is in the middle of 20 inches of snow.

- It is time for me to start organizing our school's Fun Fair. I know this because I had a dream last night that it was the night of and I had not gotten any volunteers. That means my brain is telling me to get moving.

- My kids have a 5 day weekend starting Thursday. I can hear it now... "I'm bored, I'm hungry, There's nothing to do, Take me, Buy me...MoooooMMMMMM" Did you ever notice that during the "chant" MOM is not a one syllable word anymore?

Babies having babies who will probably have babies

2006-02-08T16:17:00.000-06:00

I started writing a birth story for you to read about a 16 year old who just had a baby, who I at first felt sorry for and now I don't... her friend who has 2 babies, who still has no clue about having babies... a doctor who explains nothing, has no bedside manner and who I was going to call Dr. It's All Routine To Me who should stop delivering babies... and a baby who is laying in a nursery while all his mommy cares about is talking on the phone and watching TV, who's daddy does not even know he was conceived and who's grandpa did not yet know he was born... but I deleted it because I am frustrated and sad and angry and scarred that this is all happening and I am not sure I can do a damn thing about it.

My word cloud

2006-02-05T19:07:00.000-06:00

This is cool... it scans your blog for the most used words and makes a word cloud.

Try it... you can change / add words, but I left it alone. Snap Shirts
**when the word cloud is done, right click to save it as a picture... then upload the photo to your blog.

Otherwise the site asks you to order a t-shirt - would make a cool gift, I'll have to remember this**

Leave me a comment so I can see yours!

Mom, there's nothing to eat for breakfast

2006-02-04T10:58:00.000-06:00

We have waffles, pancakes, mini chocolate chip pancakes, yogurt, oatmeal, a dozen different cereals (and milk), eggs, cinnamon rolls, toast, mini bagels, frozen breakfasts with sausage...

but I can see how it would be hard to find something. I can't wait for lunchtime.

A true boy

2006-02-03T17:25:00.000-06:00

I went to a dance recital for a friend's daughter last week... This little boy stood there like this for his entire number. I could picture his dad watching saying, "That's my boy!"

Waiting....

2006-02-03T11:34:00.000-06:00

... for my client to have her baby. Still nothing. Poor girl (she is only 16). I remember being late with the boys and wanting this thing out of me. I loved being pregnant, but when it gets to the end- enough already. Adding to it the fact that she is only 16 and has alot of other stuff to deal with, I can only imagine what is going through her head. I tried to tell her to enjoy it while the baby is inside, but I think the fear of delivery makes her just want that part done. Then the real fun begins.

... for the sun to come out. It is so gloomy here. The grass is wet and muddy, the trees are bare and I am in need of some fresh, clean air. It makes me want to stay in bed all day. I need to open some windows. We have had above normal temps but it is right in the middle of snow/rain. If it does snow, it melts right away leaving all that mud and yuck. Anyone have some sun they can spare?

... for the mail. Jerry worked a lot of overtime this past week and I am hoping he gets a nice size check. Of course, it's spent already. Those nasty bills!

... for the fiber I have been taking to kick in. OK, too much information.

Big Balls

2006-02-02T09:04:00.000-06:00

Check out what Deni at Last Girl on Earth is putting together... a Rubber Band Blogger Ball. The video of the birth is great!
Send her a rubber band... let's see how big this ball can get!

Five things meme

2006-02-01T17:58:00.000-06:00

I have been tagged by Toni...

5 jobs I've had:
1. Starting at 13 I worked at my dad's record store. Retail nerd, baby!
2. Blockbuster employee
3. Mooooommmmmmyyyyyy
4. Doula
5. Home Engineer (a non-paying, sometimes rewarding job)

5 movies I can watch over and over:
1. Only When I Laugh (Kristy McNichol and Marsha Mason)
2. Nuts (Barbra Streisand)
3. A Time to Kill (Matthew hot and sweaty.... yum)
4. Rain Man
5. Shrek

5 places I've lived:
1. Chicago apartment (where I was born)
2. Arlington Heights, IL (toddler until 1st grade)
3. Barrington, IL (1st grade thru High School)
4. Palatine, IL (When I got married... OK, a little before we got married)
5. Cary, IL (now)
Pretty Boring, huh?

5 TV shows I love:
1. Will & Grace
2. Survivor
3. Law & Order
4. House
5. Amazing Race

5 places I've vacationed:
1. Disney, Florida
2. Wisconsin Dells
3. Maui (our honeymoon)
4. Scottsdale, Arizona
5. Denver, Colorado

5 of my favorite dishes:
1. Sushi Rolls from Bistro Wasabi
2. Extra crispy fries from Portillo's
3. My mother-in-law's mashed potatoes (don't tell her I said that)
4. Pretty much anything I don't have to cook myself
5. Hot Dogs at a baseball game

5 sites I visit daily:
1. Mine (to check everyone else's blogs, of course)
2. Travels with Toni (duh)
3. Jen Gray (I could be considered a stalker)
4. yahoo message boards for Doulas
5. My son's MySpace (OK, spying on my child and his friends)

5 places I'd rather be right now:
1. Anywhere with sun
2. With my client while she has her baby
3. Asleep in my bed with the heating blanket on
4. Alone (just for about a week)
5. In first grade coloring outside the lines and playing tag

That said... I am going to tag Kristin. She does not have a blog, but I know she'd reading... answer in the comments!

Thinking...

2006-01-31T13:32:00.000-06:00

- How do chin hairs grow overnight?
- Why do men take all of their clothes off at once and leave them attached?
- Why do you think of something you were supposed to look up immediately after you click "sign off"? Then forget next time you sign on?
- What are cats thinking about?
- How do kids manage to memorize every move on a computer game and forget something you told them to do five minutes later?
- Why do the people who complain the most, do the least?

Interesting facts

2006-01-30T12:21:00.000-06:00

Did you know that gummy bears do not taste good after you have brushed your teeth? And that the white ones look like the yellow ones? And the pink ones are hard to tell from the orange ones? And if are expecting pink or white and you bite into yellow or orange, you have to go brush your teeth to get the taste of the one you didn't want out of your mouth? Thus starts the process all over again...

DSCN3480
Originally uploaded by LonnaS.

Chopped into a million little pieces

2006-01-27T14:51:00.000-06:00

Did anyone see James Frey on Oprah? Anyone else feel just a bit sorry for the guy? I did not read the book but does it really matter if he changed some facts? I am not an addict but if he helped a lot of people through his story, does it matter if some parts were changed? I am not a writer but does anyone else think that it is the responsibility of the publishing company to decide what category to put a book into... just like a movie is rated after it is made?
Am I missing something? Please let me know if I am.

This is gonna be tough

2006-01-26T14:38:00.000-06:00

I got a call last week from another Doula asking if I could help a pregnant teen who has no one else to be with her at the birth. She is due this week. I got in touch with the person who runs a wonderful program called T.A.M.I. (Teenage Mothers' Initiative) and got some info. Of course, I said yes.
On Tuesday, I went to the weekly meeting and saw teenagers with toddlers or babies, pregnant or both. It was tough to see. Especially since I have a son that is 15. The "girls" were there to hang out, eat and for the most part support eachother. They earned points for going to school, opening savings accounts, working and depending on the number of points, they earned gift certificates. Some of the girls were very sweet and some I wanted to smack upside the head. Today, I met the teen at her doctor's appointment and now we wait. This is going to be a tough one... she is scarred, unsure and knows nothing about the process. All I can do right now is reassure her that I will be there holding her hand.
My head is already spinning about what I can do for this group. Donate services, come to meetings to answer questions, free education... I have to be careful because I tend to get wrapped up in volunteering. I am taking a step back, letting it all sink in and waiting for this birth before I get more involved.

Snow bed

2006-01-21T11:49:00.000-06:00

Ben looked like a baby in a cradle... he was taking a break from the snowball fight against the neighbors leaving his brother to fight off the attackers.

Swoosh

2006-01-21T09:04:00.000-06:00

DSCN3438
Originally uploaded by LonnaS.

Peek-a-boo

2006-01-18T19:54:00.000-06:00

DSCN3413
Originally uploaded by LonnaS.

She was really just tired... but we will pretend that I have a very advanced neice.

Stuff...

2006-01-18T11:31:00.000-06:00

I seem to have a lack of words when I get to the computer and start typing. However, my brain is working overtime. It seems to talk consistently... left side to right, right argues back, left throws a punch, right ducks... head rush. Maybe someone can invent a USB plug to get all that chatting from my head to the computer. As scary as that would be, at least I would have something to post.
I realized that this is the first winter in 3 years I have not been on Zoloft. This is a hard time... feeling stuck inside, kids in, can't open the windows, lack of sun, darkness at 5pm. Holidays... oh so glad they are over. My stomach has been in knots and even with Ahhhh Ambien, I am not sleeping very well. I am not sure if I am getting in a rut again or just a bout of crabbiness. We shall see...
On a more upbeat note... I have gotten on the treadmill twice this week. I am disappointed with the fact that I have to start over again, but glad I got downstairs to do it. I have to figure out what to do about the healthclub. I was an avid go-er for a long time and now I have no desire. Month after month, I see the charge appear and realize I went twice... once... oops, not al all. Maybe I need to look into a different one with different people and different options. Part of the problem is that this is the only one that offers classes, and I do like them... when I go.
I also have to start taking pictures again... my camera is getting dusty. My niece has been over twice and I have not taken a single photo... bad aunt, bad aunt!

If I could only kiss my own ass

2006-01-12T16:41:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to share a letter I just received from an OB/GYN. I wrote her asking for a letter of recommendation to complete requirements for my CBE certification; a process that has taken me almost 2 years. (I am approaching the deadline) I have been putting it off wondering if this is something I really want to do... after receiving this, it put me back on track. I really did not expect a response, but I got this along with a hand written note letting me know to call if there is anything else I need.

To Whom It May Concern,
I have worked professionally with Lonna xxxxx for over 10 years. During that time Lonna has always exemplified unwavering concern for her patients, the utmost compassion and true respect for myself and other physicians in my group. My patients who have employed Lonna and utilized her services have always raved about the care and education they received. They have universally felt their birthing experience was enhanced because of Lonna's teaching. I know many of them have used her serviced repeatedly.
I would highly recommend Lonna xxxxx for Childbirth Education training. I know that myself and my partners look forward to using her new skills.
Sincerely,
Susan XXXXX M.D.

2006-01-10T10:45:00.000-06:00

Taken from Christine's sidebar...

Contemplating... getting on the treadmill (nah, did it yesterday), reading a book (maybe), going to Target (that'll be the winner)

Irritated by... the fact that my son has finals this week and I haven't seen him pick up a book.

Humored by... www.wrybaby.com

Lessoned learned... Some past friendships are better left in the past.

Buy stock in... TV shows with former celebrities dancing, ice skating, singing, loosing weight, taping their lives, living together

ATE MY DREIDEL.

2006-01-09T18:04:00.000-06:00

DSCN3375
Originally uploaded by LonnaS.

I cracked up when I saw this shirt. Goto wrybaby.com to see more. I wish they still had the holiday ones to see...

2006-01-05T13:11:00.000-06:00

A mom from my kids school is in the hospital. She is on a respirator with lung cancer...
Please send positive thoughts ... and if you smoke, please QUIT!

Catching up with Thursday Thirteen

2006-01-05T10:35:00.000-06:00

Thirteen Things about Lonna

The holidays went well, but I am so glad it's over. Kids are back in school, my house is quiet and I can breathe. I love shopping, but by December 25th I would do just about anything else than step one foot in a store. Luckly this year, there weren't too many returns to do.
Since Hanukkah fell on Christmas day this year and the following Sunday was New Years, my family has not done our annual brunch. We are getting together this Sunday to exchange belated gifts. The good thing is that I had an extra week and most of the things are on sale! Bad thing... that means more shopping!
Our annual New Years Day Open House was a success. The house was packed, lots of food was eaten and the kids played. It is nice to see neighbors in the winter that we would normally just see outside. Toni and her family made it... no illnesses this year.
My hubby made a consultation appointment for the big V. That was on my wish list. We will see if he goes through with it... baby steps. I also got a Roomba. That may sound cool, but a few years ago he got me a vacuum cleaner, and to me this falls into the same lame holiday gift category. Plus it is loud and takes too much time to do a room.
We totally surprised my 15 yr old with a guitar he wanted. It was his only gift and my parents pitched in... I had told him there was no way he was getting it when he asked, so he was shocked.
I need to start working out again. I have lost 12 lbs and am contributing it to going off Zoloft. I have done nothing and have been eating crap. Not complaining... but it is time to tome up. Plus I am paying for a club membership I never use.
No clients right now. I just got a call from someone due in February. It is so nice not to be on call... but I need to jump back in the game or I will get too used to it.
I FINISHED my exam for Childbirth Education certification yesterday. All needs to be in the mail by the 20th of this month. I still need to tape myself teaching a two hour class, but I am hoping to squeeze that in somewhere. If not, at least everything else is complete and I can get this off my list.
No New Years Resolutions for me. Just going to keep doing what I am doing and try to do it a little better.
Has everyone else gotten a million emails with... What I've learned and I believe and I'll continue and blah blah blah. Some of them are great inspirations and some are just mush.
Is anyone still reading?
Did I mention how quiet it is in my house now that my kids are back in school?
Happy 2006 everyone!

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FYI

2005-12-28T13:03:00.000-06:00

Hey people... when you go to return something the week following Christmas there WILL BE A LINE. I have heard so many people complaining. What do you expect? I guess it is the retail gene in me that wants to shout, "give these workers a break". Or wait for a couple of weeks. PLEEEAAASE.

Shinny and new

2005-12-27T18:00:00.000-06:00

This is Mr. Snow- he stays out year round sporting sunglasses in the Summer and bunny ears in the Spring. My neighbor kidnapped him and gave him a fresh coat of paint. Doesn't he look handsome?!?
Thanks Nancy!

Family weekend

2005-12-13T14:47:00.000-06:00

We went to Arizona this past weekend for a family BarMitzvah. I have been struggling with this trip for a long time as I have issues with my cousins. There is a lot of hurt, anger, distrust and to be honest, a little bit of jealousy. I vowed a few years ago to let it go, but the very few times that I have to come face to face with any of them, it all comes back. Anticipating this trip, I was trying to keep a positive attitude for my kids and the rest of my family.

The weekend started off great... my parents, one sister and her kids and us were on the same flight there. All of the kids were fantastic. Baby Ella cried a bit on the way up, but other than that all were quiet.

Thursday we went on an ATV tour... It was a blast. Some of the words that came out of my mouth were not appropriate for children and I am surprised I did not soil my pants... what a ride. What they did not warn us about was the fact that it would be freezing on the bikes and that we would look like the mudd people when we were done. Everything was caked in red dust. Our plans for getting dinner were nixed when we realized that dust was in our nose, ears and every crease or wrinkle (not that I have any) of our faces.

Friday, I separated from the pack and re-united with a couple of friends I have not seen in about 7 years. Lets just say that some things are better off left alone and some past relationships are not for the present. That night started the Mitzvah celebration... or Bling Fest, as I would later call it. Dinner was nice and it was great to see family all in one place.

Saturday morning was the Temple service. I had an emotional moment... missing my grandparents, seeing everyone and realizing that things were not the same. The "party" that evening was at a night club. We pull up and the valet tells us that we have to get the kids out by 10. I am not sure what happens in this club after 10, but by the looks of the place I would not be surprised if poles and cages come down from the ceiling. There were couches lined around all walls, private rooms which people rent out for $1000 per night, and a dance floor that had smoke shooting from the ceiling. All Bling. Sometimes being about the bling is great, but they forgot all about what the purpose of a Mitzvah and the traditions and customs that go along with it. I am not a religious person, but if you are going to do something like this and say you are doing it to honor the grandparents, you should respect it. Not just throw a big party to show off. Maybe that wasn't their intention, but past history backs that up. Maybe I am just jealous of the financial situation they are in, but I will tell you that after this weekend I would not trade places with any one of them.

There were very cool things. They hired a group of break-dancers that were amazing. The muscle control on these people... oh.my.god.

They also had a green screen. This company comes out with tons of equipment and you go in groups of three in front of a green screen. You put on a green cape and then they put your head onto dancing bodies and you sing to a song. Then they put it onto DVD for you. Hard to explain... the end result is hilarious.

Sunday was a brunch at my cousins house. The flight home was great. We left late, but arrived on time. Ben sat next to Jerry on the way there and slept the entire time... on the way back he sat by me and talked, talked, talked. How does that happen?!?

All in all, it was a good weekend. It was a reason to go on a family vacation, which we have never done. I was very happy to get home and not have to share a bathroom with 5 guys!

There are many more (400+) photos on flickr, if you would like to see them. Please do not refer to my blog if you comment (or just comment here)... the last thing I need is family reading any of it!

Old Barn

2005-12-07T12:08:00.000-06:00

I passed this barn on my way to Genoa, Illinois- about 45 minutes from my house. It looks like one strong wind and down it will go.

Mom wants to quit

2005-11-17T08:22:00.000-06:00

- The same dirty sock has been in the middle of the floor for 3 days and no one has picked it up. Do they not see it or are they waiting for me to pick it up?

- I told my 15 year old to unload the car last night. He brought stuff in and started up to bed. "Justin, where is the water?" "in the car" "Bring it in, I asked you to unload the car... and the juice boxes. They aren't here either." He brings them in and heads back up. "Justin, where did you put the garbage bags?" "They are still in the car" When is it appropriate to swear at your child? Because I was really holding back saying, "Can't you fuckin finish anything?" I did turn to my hubby and say "You wonder why I am in a bad mood all the time"

- I asked my 10 year old to take 2 bags of garbage to the curb this morning before he left for school.... they are right by the door. Next to his backpack and shoes. The bags are still sitting there.

- The cat shits on the carpet .... no one notices but me.

- On my mind right now.... 1,258,083 things. On everyone else's... maybe 2.

- If Justin's girlfriend is going to get in trouble becasue she is not home by 8:30, why doesn't her mother get her lazy ass off the couch and come pick her up? Why do they wait until we get home and rush us to drive her?

Done. For now.

Just have to say...

2005-11-15T19:26:00.000-06:00

To whomever invented heated seats... I love you- I really, really love you.

One of these things is not like the others

2005-11-14T19:26:00.000-06:00

Had a nice day!

2005-11-07T14:49:00.000-06:00

The concert was awesome! These old(er) guys can still rock. In tight pants, I might add.

The whole night was a run of good luck. We left not knowing if we for sure had tickets, how much they were and where we would be sitting. For all we knew, we were going to pay $200 for nose bleed seats. We were pretty sure that wasn't going to happen. Anyway, on the way we got the phone call to go to Gate 8 and ask for "Bob" (that wasn't his name, but I can imagine everyone going to Gate 8 at the next BonJovi concert asking for this guy... I'd be in big trouble). We pull into the lot and parking was $20. To park your freakin car. We started joking with the parking guy and asked him where we could get a quick bite since we were a little early. He said the name of a sports bar, KFC and Church's... we opted for the bar. As we were walking away I asked if he wanted us to bring him back a bucket of chicken. Get to the bar and there is a free buffet of assorted wings... bbque, Parmesan, spicy. Bought a couple of drinks, munched on free wings... stole some foil and brought the parking guy a snack. He was like no way, and we were like yes way. (He was a youngin) My partner in crime, KM, said, "So, we get 1/2 our parking money back, right". He gave us the whole $20. Pays to be nice... or steal wings off a buffet- which ever way you want to look at it.
We get to Gate 8... ask for "Bob" and get our tickets. Price on the tickets... $0.00. At that point, I did not care if we sat behind the stage. But we didn't. Straight back... 1st level... just over all the people on the main floor. OK, so we couldn't see the sweat drops dripping all Jon Bon's face, but with all the screens, they were awesome seats. And free.
The only thing I am pissed about is that I did not bring my camera in. All the concerts I had been to before, I would have to smuggle it in. I did not feel like getting caught and having to go back to the car. Apparently, now cameras are allowed. SHIT. And once you are in the stadium, you can't leave because your ticket was scanned. I could have made up an excuse, like I had a migraine and needed my meds or something, but I did not want to risk it.
After the concert we got right out of the lot... no waiting, no traffic.
Recap... free wings, free parking, free tickets... and Jon BonJovi in tight pants. What an evening for two desperate housewives!

I know, I know... it's Friday

2005-11-04T13:10:00.000-06:00

Thirteen Things about Lonna
1. I forgot about this yesterday, so pretend it's Thursday

2. A friend and I are going to see the BonJovi concert tonight... have no tickets, but we were told they would be waiting for us. I am keeping my fingers crossed! Hopefully we won't take the trip downtown to find nothing. I do not like this "will call" "e-ticket" shit. Give me something I can hold in my hand.

3. My last client of the year delivered a healthy baby boy on Monday. I am officially off call until January.

4. The Health Clerk, who has been at our school for 11 years, is leaving today. So sad... kindof a "forced" retirement. All the kids filled out a sheet saying "Mrs. T is great because..." and drew a picture of her. It was so cute!

5. Ran into an old neighbor at the grocery store the other day. We said we would keep in touch... who knows.

6. Got my iPod Nano yesterday... Happy Birthday to me. Anyone have one? I am having a little trouble figuring it out. Why can nothing be simple.

7. I have no idea why #1 is centered...

8. This seemed like a good idea, but I am running out of things to say. Of course, as soon as I finish I will think of thirteen million.

9. I hope Jon Bon sings Wanted Dead or Alive. I am a sucker for a rock ballad.

10. I worked out twice this week... ran outside one morning and actually got my butt to the healthclub yesterday. It's a start. Actually, a re-start.

11. Went shopping to start for the holidays. Last year I was done at this time- I just am not motivated this year. Could it be because it is 70 degrees outside? I did order my holiday cards, so I can check that off my list.

12. My son is turning 15 on Monday... I am not quite sure how that happened. He wanted me to "score" him some BonJovi tickets... my response was, "Dude, I am trying to score some for me"

13. This ride is over... thank you for keeping your arms and legs inside the vehicle.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. SugarMommy
(leave your link in comments)

Trade ya....

2005-10-31T19:25:00.001-06:00

Goal check

2005-10-27T11:08:00.000-05:00

I remember a long time ago sitting at a table. I think I was at a seminar or meeting. The instructor told us to write down 20 or so goals we have... you know, things to do before I die. One in which immediately popped into my head was to see a baby being born. Not mine, but someone else's. For some reason today, I remembered specifically that moment of writing that down. Obviously, I have done that... check that off the list. Not once, not twice... but 40 times. I counted. I have seen 40 little heads pop into this world, 40 hands waving "hello", 40 little bodies wrapped up like a burrito, 40 wonderous pairs of eyes staring at mom, 40 first cries, 40 tiny tushes, 40 moms saying "so you're the one who has been kicking me", 40 babies hearing their name for the first time. 40 times I have shared a life altering moment, a gift from God, a wonder of wonders, a precious miracle.
My new goal... 40 more.

MEME w/ a tag... you're it

2005-10-23T19:08:00.000-05:00

Got this one from Cathy ... thanks for stopping by.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. I actually don't know of anyone.

2. Where was your first kiss? Probably at the fieldhouse... we used to go there and "hang" with the boys.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? No. Well, I did go with to put rotten eggs in someone's mailbox.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Not that I recall

5. Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people? No way... not something anyone would want to hear.

6. What's the first things you notice about the preferred sex? Good teeth... nice smile

7. What really turns you on? A good night's sleep which happens very rarely

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Grande Caramel Frap

9. What is your biggest mistake? I am perfect... right?!?

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? No.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I think too much

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? When I had short hair... for a very short time, people said I looked like Pat Benatar

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? Does Brady Bunch count?

14. Did you have braces? No

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes. 5’6”

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you? Going up to the hotel room when I did not know and put roses all over the bed.

17. When do you know it's love? When he plays with the kids or hugs my neice

18. Do you speak any other languages? No, but I listen for my name when my mother-in-law talks in Polish

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? Years ago.

20. What magazines do you read? I don't really "read" them... I just look at the pictures.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes, many times

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? My grandparents.

23. Do you watch MTV? Not very often

24. What's something that really annoys you? Gum chewing, people chewing crunchy foods (especially with their mouths open), people looking over my shoulders (hi honey)

25. What's something you really like? Babies

26. Do you like Michael Jackson? I think he is wasted talent.

27. Can you dance? Ummmm, no

28. What's the latest you have ever stayed up? I think the longest was 48 hours when I had two women go into labor back to back

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Yes, once. After eating at a Japanese restaurant for my birthday, I was having trouble breathing. A piece of meat got stuck in my throat. Threw up a great, espensive dinner.

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? Every word... don't you?

I tag Angela Marie at Rocks & Garbage ... go!

Happy Birthday to me... clean it up anyway

2005-10-21T07:05:00.000-05:00

Today is my birthday.
It started at 3am...
"mom" "mom"
"what ben"
"i accidently peed"
"go tell dad"
"he's asleep"
"go tell him anyway"
Problem is when you send them to tell dad, all that happens is they go to sleep next to dad for the rest of the night... soaked sheets are still on the bed.
Jump to 6:30am...
Look outside to see that my front yard has been "decorated" by my dear friends. Who are very dear most of the time... when they are not in a druken state and thinking clearly. "Decorated" with toilet paper. Unless they are planning to come over very soon to clean it up, not very festive. Love you guys... but.

The morning did see some light when I openend the gift on the counter from my hubby and kids... Delphi radio for my car.

Another good note... yesterday I got flowers, the Wynonna book and CD, a card from a friend I have not talked to in awhile (which made me smile) and had a good lunch with pals and my sister.

The day continues...

Just curious...

2005-10-19T14:26:00.000-05:00

Anyone else watch Oprah this morning and think... "OK, that's it... I am going to exercise, change my diet and be healthy" then proceed to eat chocolate.

2005-10-17T19:20:00.000-05:00

Sweet Dreams

Wondering...

2005-10-17T07:54:00.000-05:00

Why is it that no matter how often I do it and how much I do... it is never enough to get the job done?

Laundry.... I'm talking about the laundry!

Feet

2005-10-13T12:48:00.000-05:00

It's Half-Nekkid Thursday at Elle's

The suspense is killing me...

2005-10-12T16:49:00.000-05:00

What's the new look at Toni's?

Is she or isn't she at Celicy's?

and...

What's she up to at Getupgrrl's?

Jen Gray

2005-10-12T14:35:00.000-05:00

Hi Jen, (calling you that is hard, since I know you as Jenny)

I just wanted to pop a note to tell you, again, how much I love your site. We are very much alike and your words comfort me in knowing I am not alone in my thoughts. They also inspire me to heal with you. Being nurturing to everyone else and not to myself is a daily struggle for me. It is my life and my work... I am starting to realize that people love me even if I do not take care of them, as long as I take care of me. I am also learning, partly through you, to relax and not feel so "tight" all the time. To let others be and do... to not take on so much for fear it won't get done the same way. I cannot express myself they way you do, you truly have a gift. Keep up the great work- you are helping me and I am sure many more.
And your photos... WOW!

Lonna

What's on your TiVo?

2005-10-11T07:49:00.000-05:00

Saved "Until I Delete":
My favorite Will & Grace episode - the one with the water bra
Oprah with Bon Jovi
Only When I Laugh (please don't laugh) - Kristy McNichol
Little Darlings (shhh) - Kristy McNichol and Matt Dillon
Nuts - Barbra Streisand... favorite line "You can't make me Nuts, no matter how hard you try"

Recorded, but not watched yet:
As many Will & Grace episodes that will fit... for those nights of sleepless-ness
CSI
Without a Trace
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart (Recommended by Toni - see, I listened!)

Season Pass:
ER (thinking about removing)
CSI
Law & Order- SVU
Will & Grace (duh)
Two and a half Men
Survivor
Amazing Race
Extreme Makeover Home Edition
Three Wishes
Oprah
Ellen Degeneres

Lesson learned

2005-10-10T14:09:00.000-05:00

Jerry took the boys camping this weekend and what was supposed to be a nice quiet, restful time turned out to be, well...
Early Saturday morning my 14 year old comes into my room to get a towel. Please not that we have the discussion about putting towels in their bathroom or hall closet, using a towel more than once (god forbid) and going into the laundry room to get a towel instead of waking me up out of precious sleep for a freakin towel. I was in a deep sleep, which happens very rarely, and startled when he opened my door and accidentally banged his arm on the other door (we have double doors) making a loud thud. I pulled a muscle in my neck when I turned suddenly... Have a nice weekend guys, I will just be lying here not moving. Of course, being the good mom I am, I did not let on that this was why I was walking around like my mother. (She had neck surgery a few years ago and we always make fun of her because she has to turn her whole body to see something behind her... I know, we are sick)
Anyway, everyone leaves... all is quiet. I go to bed after taking mega doses of Motrin. Can't sleep... because I don't sleep. Ever. That night I think I saw every hour on the clock. Watched Philadelphia (Tom Hanks) and about a million Will & Grace episodes. Thank you TiVo.
Sunday morning I decided to get up and move. I also had a Newborn class to observe... one of the last steps to completing my Childbirth Ed certification. My neck felt a little better. I go for the class only to realize I had the date wrong and it is next Sunday. Shit. I go home to get some computer stuff done and my computer keeps freezing. Mid afternoon I hit a wall... so tired, neck sore... need sleep. HA! Can't sleep. Ever. Decide to meet my parents and sister for dinner. OK, honestly, I hadn't seen baby Ella in 24 hours and had to make sure she still thought I was the best Auntie on the planet. At dinner I was trying not to turn like my mother... cause it is no fun when they make fun of me.
I know this is getting long and boring... but this is my blog and I am going to continue.
I got home about 8 and decided to take an Ambien. This is the only way I will sleep. Ever. Ahhhh Ambien. My drug of necessity. Problem is that I have a client due soon... she is 2cm already. I never take a pill when I am on call for fear that I will get called and not hear the phone. I rationalize by saying that she is 2 weeks away from her due date and if I don't get some sleep I will be of no use to her if I am a zombie and it is early, so if she calls in the middle of the night I will be fine. I decide to take 1/2. Murphy's law. Phone rings at 10:30. I go to the hospital feeling like the morning after a drinking spree. I should not have been driving... it was that bad. My neck was aching and my head was spinning. My client was checked and she was not any more dilated than at her apt the previous week... contractions were spaced and she was not even wincing with them. If I was in the right state of mind, I would have figured that out on the phone and had her call me after she got to the hospital to let me know if she was staying or not. I told her that I wasn't feeling well and was going home... hospital is only 10 minutes away... call me if they are keeping you or call in the am from home. Please note: I am good at what I do and I felt like crap leaving her (and her hubby). I totally beat myself up the entire night and morning. I shouldn't have taken that stupid pill. Turned out that they spent the night but were sent home in the morning. Contractions stopped. They did give her the option to induce, but she decided not to. We had discussed that prior and I am glad that she was educated enough to make that decision. I did not tell them about the Ambien, but told them I was sorry I did not stay. I would have been no good there. I thought they would have been mad, but they weren't. Dad said I looked like crap.
So it's now Monday. They come home soon and I have gotten no sleep. Luckily it has been quiet. Tomorrow the contractor is starting on re-siding our house... the banging will begin nice and early. And I will be on night 3 of no sleep. Because I have learned my lesson. On call- no Ambien.
My neck feels better... but the next time my son wakes me up for a towel, I may use it to ring his...

Love this... a good "pass it on"

2005-10-08T14:48:00.000-05:00

Go back...
Before the Internet or the AIM
Before semi automatics and weed
Before playstation2 or X-bOX
Before the 5 hours of homework you put off every night...
Way back...
I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk.
Red light, Green light.
Playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on.
Mother May I?
Red Rover
Four square
Hula Hoops
Running through the sprinkler
Happy Meals
Getting the privelage to sit in the front seat of the car
Wait...
Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons
Like Hey Arnold and Doug
Or what about legends of the hidden temple, global guts, double dare, and who, ARE YOU AFFRAID OF THE DARK!
Who could forget Snick
Or the teenage mutant ninja turtles and Power Rangers
Christmas morning...
Your first day of school
Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses
Climbing trees
Getting an ice cream off the ice cream truck
A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers
Jumpin' down the steps
Jumpin' on the bed
Pillow fights
Runnin' till you were out of breath
Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt and you almost peed your pants
Being tired from playin' all day
Your first crush...
Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7-Up" in the classroom
Remember that?
I'm not finished yet...
Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer
Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars or spikes
Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school
Class Field Trips
When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.
When getting high was swinging on the swingset
When $5 seemed like a million, and another dollar a Miracle.
When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were so cool.
When Toys r Us overuled the "mall"
I want to go back to the time when...
Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-moe"
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"
"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old, referred to anyone over 20.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.
Nobody was prettier than Mom
Nobody was cooler than Dad
Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
Getting an inch of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"
Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!
Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life...
I double doggy dare you =)

Speak up

2005-10-06T07:51:00.000-05:00

Last night (Tuesday) at our PTO meeting, a topic came up that I have an issue with. I carefully and quietly listened to the principal then the parent involved and then I raised my hand... "In my opinion, this is wrong. This was not the proper way to go about... better ways of handling this are... This has brought about many other issues... These could have- should have been brought to PTO or the school board first..." Basically I said "Shame on you, you spine-less twit" to the principal... without using those words. As I was talking, I was watching the other parents nod in agreement while their mouths were sealed shut. After the meeting a few thanked me for saying something and one parent (who did back me up) called today to tell me how much she appreciated what I said and how I "professionally" said it. She said I should be proud of myself and knew how hard it was for me to come forward with my feelings knowing no-one else would say anything first. She said I was the perfect person to be the one to speak. Little does she know...

It is ironic to me that people think I am this speak your mind, get it off your chest, be honest about your feelings kind of person. I really am not. In most cases I keep it all inside, don't tell people when they are hurting me or pissing me off and keep quiet. In thinking about this I realized that the people I speak up with are the ones I am not emotionally involved with. Friends may think I am being honest with them, but if they could hear the conversations that are going on in my head... they would be very surprised. Common thoughts are, "What the fuck are you thinking?" "That really hurt me" "Can we please deal with my shit?"
When I was seeing my therapist, we had touched on this fact but I probably did not finish the discussion because it hit a nerve. What am I afraid of? Maybe I don't want to hurt the people I love? Better to keep it to myself. Maybe I am afraid they will walk away? Friends have done that. Maybe people will get pissed and I have to pick up the pieces? It's happened. Maybe they will decide that they can't deal with me and step back instead of helping me through? Or they will come up with the wrong answer and I realize they are thinking of themselves and not me. Maybe they will be stronger and yell louder, making me feel little? My uncle did that... a lot. Maybe its habit... my parents don't fight, they don't share their feelings. At least not to my knowledge or in front of me. Not that it is a good thing but they are still happily married, as far as I know. I am my father... I know he keeps things inside. No, not a good thing. But I am more my grandmother... who was blunt, honest and sometimes downright hurtful but respected for coming forward with her opinions. Maybe that is more who I am, how I want to be... maybe it took age and wisdom to get that out of her. Sometimes I don't think things are worth arguing over. Am I not putting enough importance on my feelings? Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it to put something out there and have to deal with all the shit. It is just easier to let it blow over, or in my case, put it away and burry it. But Maybe it's not... Maybe I need to get it out. Not worry about the reaction. Take responsibility for me and not the other person. Maybe.

2005-09-30T08:38:00.000-05:00

Ella

Birth Days

2005-09-29T08:33:00.000-05:00

It has been a week of new babies... my client delivered a baby girl on Monday afternoon. She called me at 12:30am and delivered at 1 in the afternoon. Not too bad for a first time mom... both mom and baby are doing well.

Yesterday, my sister went in for a scheduled c-section and we welcomed Baby Ella to our family. I am an Auntie again! She is beautiful, of course. They did not allow me in the room during the section so I had to stay in the waiting room- which absolutely killed me. Less than an hour wait, but it felt as long as the 12 from the other birth. Time definitely passes faster when you are involved. I am off to see how my sister is doing... Ok honestly, to hold the baby and tell her I will be the one painting her nails and braiding her hair. Maybe I will stop at the store and buy something pink.

Holding on to Hope

2005-09-20T11:16:00.000-05:00

I had a friend, a good friend, a best friend. A friend who I knew since childhood. A friend who I went to camp with, had sleepovers with, drank peppermint Schnapps with. This friends family was my family and mine was hers. Things changed. Without my approval, without my knowledge. In her defense, she was sick. I was there every step of the way until I was not welcome anymore. By her, by her husband, by her family... not sure. This great friend shut me out by choice, by illness. I have continuously kept communication open, holding onto something. Holding onto the past, the memories, the future. Hurt, wounded, betrayed but hopeful. Out of nowhere I get a picture... the first one in 8 years. Then comes an instant message, "hi Lon". Followed by an actual conversation. I am not sure how I feel, confused, scarred, happy. I am not sure what happens next. Do I wait, do I call, do I email? Do I bring up the hurt or do I leave it alone?
Anyone?

2005-09-13T11:43:00.000-05:00

What every woman wants

2005-09-10T12:31:00.000-05:00

We went to Roctober Fest last night... why is this in September? I have no idea. Anyway, the band was playing, the kids were running around... big tent, food, beer. Sounds ideal, right? I was crabby- I have been crabby lately. A lot. So I was standing there and my friends daughter, almost 2, was tired and needed to be held. I took her from mom (so she could drink her beer) and POOF... I wasn't crabby anymore. I was in heaven. That little girl fell asleep on my shoulder and I was in my happy place. Music was playing, people were talking and I was all of a sudden at peace.
For a long time I have been struggling with finding my place as my children grow up. Not being needed in the same way, not feeling needed in the same way. I know they still need me, but it is different. It is a different feeling than when you look down at your baby and wonder what he will look like, be like, act like and know that you are responsible for every need, every wish, every desire. Now I look up at my children and wonder if I met all those needs, wishes and desires... and realize that if I didn't I can't go back. And holding those kids... oh how I miss that. Looking at those little fingers and toes, rubbing those bald heads and squeezing those chubby thighs. I morn that. That was my life for a long, long time and before that it was my wish for a long, long time. Now not only is that life gone, I know it is gone forever. My wish came true and that was wonderful, but what do you do when it is over... done... complete. Move on? Make a new wish? Finding my peace with that is hard.
Maybe it is because my sister is very close to having her baby... maybe it is because the terrible teens have been hitting us... maybe because I have a son in high school. Whatever it is, it is hitting me and it is hitting hard. No wonder I have so many books that I've started and not finished. I get to a place I like and stop reading. I don't want to turn the page, start the next chapter... I want to hang out for awhile. Problem is in real life, the story keeps going. If you hang out too long, you get lost.

Check, check, check

2005-09-09T08:28:00.000-05:00

I am getting used to the teenage thing one step at a time.... I have lost control of who eats what and when, check. There will be "kids" in and out of my house that are taller, bigger and stronger that me, check. Some of those "kids" have bigger and perkier boobs than I do, check. Occasionally, there will be people sleeping on my couch (during the day, not overnight), check. Rules and punishments are re-evaluated, check. Sex and drugs are a constant concern, check. Sex and drugs are a constant concern, double check. Music will be blaring from rooms, I'm old, check.
I got all that... but yesterday I walked up to my bathroom, my cabinet was open and there were tampon wrappers in the garbage. Sons girlfriend uses my tampons, check? Son asks him if I have any tampons and where they are, check? Keep in mind that I only have boys in this house and if there is a tampon wrapper in the garbage, it's from me. And because I have boys, or because this is just what I have always done for the anti-ick factor- I put the applicator back in the wrapper and put a piece of toilet paper around it... Especially in someone else's house. Not the case here. Plus there are very few things in my house I don't have to share... as stupid as that sounds, femine products are one of them. I know when I am running low, I know what I have, no-one is taking them without telling me... well, until now. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem if she uses a tampon... it's just another thing to throw me off guard.
Son's girlfriend may borrow a tampon, check.

Local help

2005-09-07T08:01:00.000-05:00